Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
