This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.