Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

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  (718): There's a dildo in the cheerios box here... http://tfl.nu/sohe
  Replies (12) Good night (1358) Bad night (628)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i barfeds in our rink

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  (612): i barfeds in our rink http://tfl.nu/23a8
  Replies (8) Good night (873) Bad night (2396)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.

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  (712): i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat. http://tfl.nu/sn6a
  Replies (5) Good night (3793) Bad night (1034)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse

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  (360): tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse http://tfl.nu/pqsg
  Replies (7) Good night (2735) Bad night (1070)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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  (423): This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are. http://tfl.nu/kzc0
  Replies (8) Good night (2546) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

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  (250): Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yyfl
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (2040)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.

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  (601): I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak. http://tfl.nu/j26q
  Replies (19) Good night (721) Bad night (3348)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Fuck he won the bet

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  (775): He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors (1-775): Fuck he won the bet http://tfl.nu/9wz5
  Replies (18) Good night (2522) Bad night (998)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.

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  (314): Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/ibp9
  Replies (17) Good night (3295) Bad night (1189)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

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  (913): He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/52qd
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (1531)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

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  (305): When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand. http://tfl.nu/rlmw
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?

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  (610): My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date? http://tfl.nu/n22z
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me

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  (404): i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me http://tfl.nu/xepk
  Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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  (509): i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot. http://tfl.nu/0579
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

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  (208): He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. http://tfl.nu/pajk
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (485)

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