the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.