even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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