Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
