where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
