Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize