why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
