It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
