he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
there is glitter all over my balls
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
