I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
