i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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