Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
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Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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