Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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