they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
