I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize