ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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