They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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