That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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