Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I party with great urgency now.
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