Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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