wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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