batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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