I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
