Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize