I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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