No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
