i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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