Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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