no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
