Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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