Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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