Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
