If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
