he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
