ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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