Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
