he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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