I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
