This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
