So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
me + whiskey = a bad person
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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