we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
