I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
