What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
