Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
