I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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sex in a hospital.. check
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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