You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
