remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
