I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
