It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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