nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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