We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
