Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
