it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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