...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
