Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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